SafeHaven-DesertRose

Dear God,   Yesterday was beautiful.  For the first time in forever I felt happy and light and free. I know these days do not come very often so I drink in every drop of happiness I feel. It's as though I had been a lost in the desert wandering forever until finally grazing upon the only well around for days.... I hungrily drink it all in and store the memory of every ounce of happiness I feel refilling my essence in these moments. Soaking in as much as I could hold.  I was even giggling and goofy making jokes and interacting with others. I think I probably freaked some of them out because they never see me talk or smile or anything...even I could see myself and it made me chuckle, but I did not even care. It felt so good. They just did not understand how badly I needed a happy day. The sun was shining my heart was full and I was able to accomplish a bit more than usual.  One silver lining to depression and grief is when you've been under for a while...in the th...

Lingering ghosts and shadows of memories... sadness untold.... Residual palings of nightmares... continued...unfold.... Her healing is that through the middle of the storm.... That ever completely loops inside her....taking violent form She has learned about the difficulty of sharing once more.... Strange how they seem to think it makes sense to ignore.... In the middle of her statements and recollections afore....  quick to admonish her memories of core... "No...oh no....Thats not how it happened"...is what they begin to say..   then her mind begins to swirl and go wildly astray... What is worse than not healing from wounds cut so deep.... Is the forever eraser of invalidations ....left sinking to weep. The memories that have had her bound in defeat... She is desperately seeking for understanding....to meet....  Somehow believing she will find it if she says it aloud. An ounce of compassion.... instead given shroud... Ever tormented by travesties once left her soul ...

  Pieces of Her: Letters from a Broken Heart I'm Sorry... I'm so truly, truly sorry. I never meant to break so hard— so much that my insides feel burnt to char. I just can't seem to feel better sometimes, and it feels like a life sentence of sadness is written between my lines. I hide from you every day because you make me feel so small when my feelings finally show. You say I’m too sensitive, and I feel too embarrassed for you to ever know. Admittedly, it hurts more than I can truly say— it leaves me empty, just desperately trying to stay out of the way. You don't seem to realize how intently I listened every time you told me about your day. Even when my own heart was aching, I just wanted you to feel heard, seen, validated in every way. Because I remember all too well what it felt like when I had things to say. But when I spoke, you turned to check your phone, walked the other way. “Keep talking... I’m still listening,” you said, but my he...