Chapter 8: "I Am No Longer Searching—He Found Me in the Fire"

-

 



Chapter 8: I Am No Longer Searching — He Found Me in the Fire

(How divine love became the anchor after everything else was stripped away.)

Quote:
"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
— C.S. Lewis

Verse:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
— Isaiah 43:2

Anchored Truth (Essence Mindset)

Sometimes the most sacred revelation comes when everything else is stripped away.

I used to think I had to find God, chase peace, earn love. But it was in the fire—the raw, agonizing, soul-tearing fire—that I discovered the truth: I was never alone. He had already found me. He was waiting in the flames, not outside of them.

Pain didn’t destroy me. It refined me. The fire didn’t consume me. It revealed who I really am.

Glimpse of the Story

There was a moment when I had lost everything. My children. My identity. My voice. My sanity felt threadbare. I would walk the halls of the house I no longer recognized and wonder if I even existed anymore.

I remember standing in the dark of a small room, fists clenched, whispering through gritted teeth, "God, if You're real, I need You now. Not later. Now."

There was no lightning. No thunder. Just a warmth I can only describe as a soul-wrap. Gentle. Fierce. Steady. A knowing without sound that said: "You are not lost. I am here."

It was the first time I felt seen by something greater than human. And it changed me. I stopped searching. I started surrendering.

And in that place of surrender, I came to a verse that awakened something holy within me:

"Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits—who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies."

At first, I laughed—deep, soul-shaking laughter—as though heaven was asking, “Do you still love Me? Do you still honor Me though you’ve lost everything you love?”

I laughed and cried at the same time. “Really?” I whispered through the ache. And then, through fresh waves of tears, I answered: “Absolutely.”

Then I read the verse aloud again. And again. Until the sobs slowed, until the truth sank in. Until I believed it was so.

Through tear-stained eyes and a heart ripped to shreds, I spoke those words not just as scripture—but as proclamation. My declaration to the heavens and the earth that nothing would separate me from the love of God. That even with everything taken—my children, my peace, my identity—I would still praise Him.

That was the reckoning.
That was the day my soul was free.

Prayer / Love Note

God,
Thank You for showing up in the fire. Thank You for not needing me to be strong, or perfect, or put together to meet me.

When I had nothing left to offer, You offered me Yourself. That is the love I now live by. That is the anchor I trust.

Help me to remember that I don’t have to chase what has already found me. Help me rest in Your presence, even when the world around me feels like it's burning down.

Refine me, but never let me forget:

Stay alive. Don’t give up. You are needed. You are wanted. You are not alone. Keep going. I love you and I am there with you. Begin again. I love you always and forever.

Amen.

Reflection & Encouragement

Have you ever come to the end of yourself? What did you discover in that place?

Sometimes the fire we fear is the doorway to the very Presence we seek. Not because God delights in our pain, but because when everything else falls away, we finally become still enough to feel Him.

You are not alone in the fire. You are being held. Found. Loved without condition.

Write about the moment you stopped chasing and started surrendering. Let it be a testimony.

Let it remind you that your soul was never abandoned. It was always being led home.



Comments

Post a Comment

Stay Alive. You are loved. You are wanted. You are needed. Keep going. I believe in You. love you, Desert Rose.

Popular posts from this blog

Precatio

-
Image
  Precatio (Latin for “Prayer”) A Call to Prayer, Compassion, and Awakening Quote “Some cries are too deep for language. So we pray in sound— and let the ache become a call.” Scripture “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” — Matthew 5:9 Reflection Precatio is a call to prayer. It is not loud in volume— but it is loud in spirit. This piece was created in the quiet ache of witnessing great suffering, and finalized in response to the deepening anguish in the Middle East— particularly for the women and children facing starvation, fear, and loss. The music itself is a cry — a slow, mournful trumpet woven with reflective drums. A beat that marches with grief, yet carries the weight of hope. It is both gentle and fierce. Tender and unshakable. This is not a distant observation. It is an invitation: Feel this as if it were your own. Because in the eyes of compassion, it is. Precatio calls the soul into awareness— to pra...
Read more

Soup for the Soul — Hands Through the Wall- Aug8 2025

-
Image
Welcome to tonight’s Soul Soup — a place to rest, reflect, and feel loved. This story is for the ones who have learned to love without walls, who find beauty in brokenness, and who keep reaching through the cracks in their hearts. Hands Through the Wall Sometimes love looks like this — two people on opposite sides of a wall, still finding the tiniest gap to hold hands through. Not because it’s easy. Not because it’s perfect. But because the bond matters more than the bricks between them. To my sister. To my momma. You have met me in that space, even when life has left us tired, hurting, or unsure. You have taken the rawest pieces of me — the messy, tear-soaked, laughing-in-the-fire kind of truth — and held them like treasures. Not polished. Not hidden. Just held. And that holding has been a kind of resurrection. It has brought me back to life in moments I thought were too far gone. It has given me the courage to face the next chapter, and the grace to believe that even broken storie...
Read more

Protector’s Reflection: The Watcher with the Coffee Cup

-
Image
  Protector’s Reflection: The Watcher with the Coffee Cup by RedRose EmeraldzCity I’ve always been that person. The one who watches quietly while others play. Not because I can’t have fun— but because my brain has already run every scenario. Every risk. Every emergency. I’m the one sipping coffee while mentally executing ten rescue plans, praying under my breath, steady as a lighthouse. It used to bother me. Now I’ve accepted it. This is what it means to be a protector. To carry peace—but stay ready. To look calm—but know the storm inside is trained and listening. “The Lord is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation.” — Psalm 118:14 (NIV) Protector’s Prayer for the ones who guard what is sacred God of Light, I come not in fear, but in fire. I ask not for ease, but for endurance. Let me stand when others scatter. Let me see what others miss. Teach my hands to build—and to battle. Train my ears to hear the warnings before the world falls si...
Read more